Here’s a little excerpt from Be Audacious about the art of managing expectations while weathering the storm, which feels apropos during this time of upheaval and uncertainty.
Manage Expectations
‘Don’t put pressure on yourself to always be productive. If you just got dumped by your longtime boyfriend or girlfriend, didn’t get into the college of your dreams, received word that you didn’t get your dream job, or are dealing with a major family shake-up, give yourself time to mourn. No matter what the circumstances—a daunting health ordeal, emotional struggle, personal loss—there are many times in our lives when treading water is the best we can do.
We must not underestimate the power of finding the courage to simply tread water in the eye of the storm. The storm will pass—trust me, it always does. But I know this is hard to believe when we are in the midst of the shitstorm. I’ve been through enough raging hurricanes, spinning tornadoes, and tropical storms where I couldn’t see my way through—couldn’t see an end to the onslaught—and began to despair. Yet I’ve always come out the other side. So will you.
Give the storm time to pass. And remember that it’s not unusual for one powerful surge of emotion to be followed by another. But energy is finite, not infinite—it will pass. Still, remember not to pick up the broken pieces the moment the skies clear. Take a look first at the weather forecast to avoid having your reconstruction project devastated once more.
I love this analogy. It has helped me through many days of heartache and anguish. I’ve learned the hard way the pain that comes from trying to rebuild too soon, without adequate time to heal and feel the loss. It’s okay to rough it for a while—to live in a metaphoric tent as a wanderer and nomad until the seas calm, the winds become a gentle breeze, and the sun shines again on your life. During these hard times, take your mini vacations and utilize the tools—the positive coping skills that you’ve acquired over the years—in your toolbox. Simply endure.
While noodling ideas for this book one day over the phone with my Portland-based editor, she shared with me a simple exercise that gave her much peace during times of gloom. The simple act of writing “I have something to say” on a sheet of paper was enough to provide some comfort.
Don’t overthink the struggle; the storm will pass when it passes. You will overcome.
In the end, it is not about the things we acquire, the cars that we drive, the clothes we wear, or the money we make. It is about love. It is about people. It’s about our sense of place and advocating for a healthy and verdant environment. It is about overcoming adversity with character and courage as we shower the world around us with a humble grace.’
Take care, stay strong and be healthy!
With Nothin’ but Love, mwl