How has ‘lockdown’ impacted our day-to-day lives? I imagine this is going to look different for each of us. At our house, with the exception of going to school, evening swim practice, and morning coffee shop writing sessions, things are pretty much business as normal—at least for my 12-year-old daughter and me. For my wife who works for the airlines and is currently on a COVID-19 leave, her day to day has radically changed. Instead of getting up at 3 AM every morning, driving to the airport on sketchy spring roads (it’s dumping snow here in Bozeman as I write this), filling and driving the deice truck to make sure the first flight of the day goes out on time, she’s now sleeping in (if you can call 6:45 AM sleeping in) before tackling her morning workout.
My daughter has been giggling about all of this ‘lockdown’ and ‘shelter in place’ talk, saying that it all feels pretty natural and normal at our house. We’re reading good books, cooking good food (my wife is a star on the meal front), I’m hooking up tasty breakfasts, we’re experimenting with gluten free baking (my daughter and I, as this is normally my wife’s magical realm), and watching old episodes of Hawaii Five-O and Survivor. Not that far off from our normal weekend rhythm.
This doesn’t mean that it’s been all roses and applesauce, however. There’ve certainly been some tears, anxiety, fears and heartache along the path to finding our new normal.
For me, a really big part of that ‘normal’ we’re all seeking, is the training piece. So, like anyone who depends upon their daily gym (lift or spin) and swim, one of my biggest concerns on a personal level when we could see that shelter in place coming down the pike was figuring out how to keep the engine revving from home, knowing that my daily training sessions are instrumental in keeping me in a good place mentally. Add to this the fact that it’s still full on winter here in Montana, and I had to come up with something quick.
One of the first things I did when the news of the coronavirus pandemic really hijacked the airways (for us that means Yellowstone Public Radio, our local NPR station) was reach out to our friends at Concept 2 in Morrisville, Vermont. I assumed our local gym was days away from closing, and I knew the one thing that could cause the wheels to come off during an extended shelter in place would be a lack of cardio equipment. Right then and there, over the phone, we purchased a BikeErg (Concept 2’s stationary bike—see my BIkeErg piece). We’d talked about getting me a new trainer, but I really wanted something that my wife and daughter could use as well, and Concept 2’s new stationary bike was exactly what we were looking for (and we’ve all logged many hours and miles on this solid stationary bike over the last four weeks).
So, everything’s golden, right? I’ve got the BIkeErg and I’m spinning away. Well, yes and no. For three weeks, I was grooving, but now, not so much. While I’d love to report that everything’s running smooth and without a hitch (you know, the everything’s golden part), the truth is training with spondy (ankylosing spondylitis) is a different and often complicated beast. It’s certainly not as simple as following some prescribed training plan pulled off the internet. It’s a fine line between finding the sweet spot and pushing too hard and getting shut down with an overuse injury.
Though I’ve been logging lots of miles and hours in the saddle all winter, I had a three-week window the last two weeks of February and the first week of March where I was shut down by the flu. I literally spent 20 days out of the pool and gym. I was on lockdown, before there was lockdown. In hindsight, everyone’s convinced I had COVID-19; and considering I’d been in Seattle two weeks before the fever struck and how hard I got hit by something flu like, the chances are probably pretty good.
Three weeks off the bike is a long time, and even though I knew I needed to ease my way back into my training, once I got that BikeErg in the living room, it was hard to resist the urge to get after it right out of the gate, especially since we were in shelter in place mode. For the last month, I’ve been putting in some long and intense training sessions on the BIkeErg and it didn’t take much time for my problem patella tendon (left knee) to get noisy. After a particularly big effort on the bike (indoor and out) last week, the knee has shut me down, at least for now. That’s a common cause of bike related knee issues, overdoing it and in the process stressing our connective tissues, causing inflammation and pain.
While I’m bumming hard, because the daily training sessions play such a pivotal role in my positive outlook and ability to rise for my family on a day to day basis—especially during challenging times—I suppose there’s always a part of me that knows jumping into long training sessions on a bike that my body is just getting used to and hasn’t had a proper fit is a risk. And now that quads are firing and the patella tendon is tracking funny (hurting), it’s a lot of hot Epsom salt baths, ice wraps, stretching and foam rolling, in hopes of getting back in the saddle sooner than later.
Whenever my knee flares—which typically occurs at least once or twice a year, most often in winter and again in early spring, when I’m ramping up the intensity of my indoor training sessions—I fallback on the pool, bumping up my swim frequency to compensate for the need for a short (typically two to three week) bike sabbatical. But the pool isn’t an option right now, so I’m beyond grateful that I pulled the plug on a SkiErg the day after ordering the BIkeErg.
To say that we’re balling on a budget is putting it mildly. We live in a lovely little cottage that’s well below the median home price here in Bozeman, Montana. We drive a 06’ Tundra with 275,000 miles and a ’13 Prius with 105k on its odometer. We like to say we’re cash poor, and bike rich. Though the BikeErg and SkiErg really are relatively affordable, purchasing two pieces of equipment coming in just under a $1,000 a piece was a big splurge for us, but I can honestly say, I’ve never looked back on those purchases (we’re big believers in putting what money we have towards our physical and mental health), and the SkiErg is serving me bigtime right now.
I think some people (especially young people) see our trips to our beloved Big Island, our summers mountain biking in Jackson Hole and the fact that I’m an author and speaker (smalltime as I may be) as signs that we must be doing pretty damn good financially; but looks can be deceiving. My wife works for the airlines, so we’ve got flight bennies for days—hence our Big Island reunion trips. The summer mountain bike adventures in the Tetons align with my wedding officiating gigs in Jackson Hole (and we’re always either camping, sleeping out of the truck or staying with my cousins). And the new Concept 2 equipment was a splurge no doubt, but I can’t possibly think of a better use of our COVID-19 stimulus checks than on two bomber pieces of equipment that have already worked wonders for our mental and physical health and will serve us for many, long, seven month winters to come, here in the far north of Montana where getting outside on a real bike is a mid-April to mid-October affair at best.
We’ve chosen a life that puts an emphasis on family, health (mental and physical), experiences and a collective well-being, over the pursuit of the mighty dollar. This is a romantic way of saying, we (my wife and I) haven’t chosen to pursue lucrative careers, but instead we’ve chosen a way of life, that allows us to pursue our passions, while living rather simply, and perhaps most importantly, allowing me to parent my 12-year-old daughter in a way that aligns with the love, goodness and stability that she deserves, and that I, as her father am committed to providing.
Love, Dad lunch notes
Writing and speaking is far more glorified than it actually is; there’s no steady paycheck in that world—at least not in my smalltime version of that world. But I love what I do. I love telling stories.
Does this mean we don’t stress about money? That would be nice, but I’m afraid that’s pure fantasyland. Financial stressors are an ever-present part of our journey. We are most certainly one of those paycheck to paycheck families. But we’re doing alright. It’s not exactly feast or famine, as my wife has a solid and steady gig (when there’s not a global pandemic), and I wear a lot of hats (writing, speaking, coaching, officiating weddings and managing a small wildlife tour company in Yellowstone National Park), so we can live our simple yet adventurous life. We’ve found a relatively good life balance and I continue to try and find that balance in my outdoor activities and training as well.
These are crazy and uncertain times. Like millions of others, we’re not exactly sure where our next paycheck will come from. My wife is on a 60-120 day leave; my spring calendar of high school presentations have cancelled; my summer slate of weddings are up in the air; and the wildlife company I manage is feeling the fallout from this pandemic—like so many other small businesses and corporations—and there’s no assurance that I’ll have a job this time next week. All reasons a six-hour push on the BikeErg sounds awfully therapeutic right now.
With my wife by our side (I was a single dad before Amanda joined our tribe), we’re supporting my daughter and helping her navigate the challenges of online learning—an awfully big ask for a 12-year-old, without the support and guidance of an adult. We’re working on her footwork and fundamentals (basketball) when the weather allows it. We’re playing some feisty and fierce games of four-square. And we’re putting in CrossFit style battles on the BikeErg and SkiErg (now it’s just the SkiErg for me). We’re smiling a lot, we’re eating well, and we’re sharing cozy cuddle sessions in our warm and bright cottage.
We’ve got a lot to be grateful for, and it feels like we’re filling even more lines in our gratitude journal these days, perhaps because we’ve got nothing but time, but maybe it’s also because in spite of all the madness and sadness swirling around our world today, on a personal level, on a family level, at home, we’re solid and in good form, for the most part.
And as silly as it sounds to some, for me, the daily SkiErg efforts in the midst of my patella tendon flare and time out of the saddle, are serving my mind, my body and my family in ways that I suppose only those of us who need that daily burst of whatever it is that exercise/training does for us, provides.
Perhaps now more than ever, it’s ok for us to tread water, and release that pressure we put on ourselves (and that society piles on us) to always be productive. Whatever your SkiErg looks like (yoga, walking, journaling, cooking, reading, playing music, etc.,), embrace it, soak it up, and celebrate it. While I’m missing access to the pool and my physio and massage therapist right now, in the midst of this knee flare, on a personal level (not a global pandemic level), we’re ready to ride (metaphorically speaking) this thing out together.
I honestly have a part of me that’s going to be sad when ‘lockdown’ is no longer a thing (and I think my wife and daughter have that same part too), because this concentrated time with my daughter, wife and dog, all the fun howls, art showings through the windshield and birthday drops at my folks house on the other side of town (interacting through glass), although under terribly sad circumstances, has represented a multilayered blessing in so many ways.
We have a motto at home that there are three solutions to any problem: change it, leave it, or accept it. This comes directly from my wise and trusted counselor, Dr. Wimberly. We don’t always have much in the way of choices when it comes to our circumstances, so we try to focus on the areas we have some control like our attitude, our effort, our actions, and our perspective. I suppose that’s one of the pluses of living with chronic migraine and ankylosing spondylitis, it puts a lot in perspective.
For the foreseeable future, it feels like choosing to embrace our circumstances makes a lot of sense for all of us. It may not always be roses and applesauce, there may be some heavy and lonely days, but there is tremendous power in choosing to turn the focus, choosing to soak up—and even enjoy this time, choosing to celebrate the little victories along the way. In doing so, I like to think that we’re choosing a positive attitude that will serve us all well during these uncertain times and will guide us (hopefully with some semblance of courage and grace) the next time our path gets rocky and rough.
Take care, stay strong and be healthy, my friends!
With nothin’ but love, mwl